but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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