our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Of course I have a pirate flag
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
