My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and she was petting her beer can
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
