i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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