her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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