Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize