haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
