I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
