We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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