i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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