Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
