First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
