I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
