it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
