bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
