Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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