If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
