and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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