I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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