I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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