yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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