the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
