thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
