she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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