I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
