Say something about gay babies.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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