If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize