So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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