Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize