The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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