she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think i got beer on your cat.
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