Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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