when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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