I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
