Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
