I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
