How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
