i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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