he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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