i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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