on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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