So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
