I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize