Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
