i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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