where does the pee come out of this thing
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
