I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
