ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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