please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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