I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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