32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize