omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
