What a fucking waste of an outfit
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
