Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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