My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
