so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
