as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
