ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
