before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize